Little Miss S Defies Gravity

Once I had a doctor tell me “I don’t recommend running for women.” The little stick figure he drew described how womens’ pelvises are ill-suited for running because their shape puts stress on the knees when they run and tears them up. I calmly explained to him that I have had a gimp knee since 8th grade and used to run about 5 miles a day, and that my legs never felt so good as when I did. He suggested I take up roller blading instead. I think maybe he had stock in orthopedic surgical supplies or something. Nothing will get me injured worse (and faster) than being on wheels. We have established this recently. Also, it’s how I originally busted my knee.

My worst enemy for approximately four months.

My current doctor would prefer my blood pressure be a little better regulated before I do anything too strenuous, which is why I’m doing it the C25K way and working up to my old level. As much as I feel I could ditch the program and just do it the way I did before, pushing myself to the very limit as long as possible, this way will keep his blood pressure down and make sure that I survive to run in said 5K.

Or that’s what I told myself anyway. See, I got so angry the other day at work that I immediately came home and tried to go jogging. I got even angrier when some idiot woman was on one of the treadmills letting her idiot brat play on the other. He was running backwards and pressing the speed buttons over and over and making me want to kill him. I kept trying to get his mother’s attention but she ignored me so thoroughly that I considered throwing a hand weight onto the treadmill. I was already in a fighting mood, so I left.

There is only one OK GO, you horrible little gnome.

Came back in the morning at 6 AM and there was no one to bother me. However, week 2 of C25K was holdin’ me back, bro. So I moved on to week 3 and did some early morning anger management. I was super-proud of myself, too! Kept it at 5.0mph for all but 1 minute of the final cycle. Unfortunately when I got to work, I was enraged again as usual.’

Basically, what I’m saying is that I either need a taser or a gym membership. Either one will do.

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