Dirty Talk With Little Miss S

Below is the unedited transcript of a thing that happened in surgery today while I was prepping a patient for Dr. C (some context: I accidentally called Trackstar out on her chronic besmirchment of the bowl, thinking it was Helper Girl D in the stall [we joke about our poops. A lot.]. Since then I’ve been afraid to talk to her in case she recognizes my voice from the incident).

It was an accident, I swear.

Trackstar: A little bird told me you didn’t want to ask for candy. ::bestows Reeses Egg::

Me: Ooh, thank you!

Trackstar: Just come in my office whenever you want some.

Dr. C: Here little girl, want some candy?

Me: I told you, I’m not eating it in your van. I’m not helping you look for your lost puppy either.

Dr. C: Then I guess I’ll have to find some other way to lure you. ::thinks::

Me: Have fun with that.

Dr. C: Hey little girl, wanna see my kitty?

Me: …

Dr. C: (does not realize what she’s said) …well?

Me: No, Dr. C, I do not want to see your kitty.

Dr. C: OH MY GOD

Me: BAD TOUCH! STRANGER DANGER!

QBB: Holy crap, you two.

We all laughed so hard we nearly peed, and broke the sterile field around the pack. Not with pee, though. Just regular laughing germs. Not that germs laugh, but when you breathe all over a sterile pack you break its sterility. THE MORE YOU KNOW. (TM)

Also, WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST STUMBLE ONTO?

That's what happens when you search "Bad Touch Kitty."

In other, less accidentally-pervy news, I went to my new gym for the first time after work. Boy, wasthathard. After a long-ass day at work, the last thing I wanted to do was go run on the treadmill but I needed to go at a reasonable time – not the 5:30 AM I plan to do it other days – to get my card and such after signing up online.

It's you and me, Jim.

It has everything I want: 80 treadmills, hands-off staff, no creepy bros ogling my goodies, and open 24 hours Monday through Friday. I went in and they gave me a sticker, some paperwork and a shirt. Well, all right then. I will keep you updated, but so far it was a pleasant workout experience.

Edit: Apparently that picture is a chibi, kittified version of the “Bad Touch Trio” from Hetalia. A Demotivational poster I found said “SCREW THE MUSKETEERS! (The Bad Touch Trio Would)” Um. I guess I should be watching this anime?

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