Remember what I said about laughing at terrible things that happen to you?
Oh yes, that is a My Little Pony/Dr. Horrible crossover. Because DeviantArt, that’s why.
Getting back to things. Yesterday was my first day as a professional cat lady and I woke up at 9:30 AM to discover that we had no power. None. Zip. I ran through the house like an idiot, flicking all the switches and slapping the breaker because there was obviously some sort of mistake. We never got a ‘pay your bill you deadbeat fuckers’ notice on our door, so it was a mystery to me why this occurred. Until Mister E called the power company, which then proceeded to tell us we’re deadbeat fuckers who hadn’t paid our bill and that we needed to give them $300 and get pregnant so I could hand over my firstborn in order to get it back on.
Needless to say, I started having a panic attack. Apart from the fact that the contents of our freezer includes several pounds of fish and a couple of dead animals we haven’t gotten around to burying, I was starting a brand new job in four hours and hadn’t washed my hair since Saturday. I was planning to take care of that after my morning scamper, you see.
We got things straightened out but didn’t end up getting power back to our apartment until after 6PM, which meant that I was still SOL for washing my hair unless I wanted to do it in the dark with freezing water. “Ah-ha!” I said. The birds cocked their heads at me because I said it out loud. “That’s easier solved than the potential horror in the freezer. I can just go to the gym and shower after I run!” Patting myself on the back, I carefully selected a nice casual outfit for work, put in a scrub top just in case, along with panties, socks and an attractive bra in case I was in a car accident. I made sure I had shampoo, conditioner, the works. Then I put my bag in the car and went off on my merry way.
Running was okay, except my carefully crafted playlist to replace my previous one was all skippy. I got my sweat on and adjourned to the shower to get ready for my first day at my brand new job. That was when I realized that I was so concerned with making sure that I brought panties that I forgot to bring a towel. I was standing in the shower with dripping hair (among other things) and no way to dry my bum (among other things), and was supposed to be at my new job in half an hour.
With the clock ticking, I came up with a magnificent idea. Well, it wasn’t that magnificent but it worked. I used my sweaty workout clothes to dry myself off. It didn’t work too well so I put the clothes back on in the hopes they’d soak up some of the water. That worked better, and by the time I got to the dressing rooms I was dry enough to put on my work attire. I made it to work on time with a few minutes to spare. My hair was dripping down my back, but you can’t win every time.
Things were much, much better once I got to work. And obviously I got my power back before bedtime. So I guess everything turned out okay in the end. Tra la la.
Speaking of work: I wore a t-shirt, jeans and my $1.50 Doc Martens. This is acceptable work attire. Seriously. Also, our van has an input jack which means Spotify all fucking day while I drive.