Performance Anxiety

I’m gonna warn you, there’s a plug for my book here.

I wrote a book. See, there it is up there. It’s a mainstream fiction type of thing that has been described as a “love story that’s not really a love story” and has managed to weasel its way into the hearts of independent reviewers and readers alike. You can buy it for the Nook, the Kindle, or just about any other format you could possibly want at Smashwords for the reasonable price of 99 cents and people seem to really like it. And therein lies the problem.

You see, even the people who gave it three star reviews said that they liked the story and characters, to say nothing of what the people who gave it high ratings said. I even had someone who said they were mostly into genre reading but thought it was great. The consensus seems to be that it is a good book filled with many feels. While I’m really happy that people like it, it also makes me really anxious.

Every time someone says they like my book, I start getting worried that they’ll think the one I’m working on now isn’t as good. That they’ll think that I only had one book in me and that everything else will be crap. When I think about that, I end up staring blankly at my computer screen and not writing anything because I start worrying about sentence structure, the voice of the characters, the story arc and anything else I can possibly think about. Hell, I’m having trouble writing this stupid blog post.

I know that I should be encouraged by this praise, that I should use it to push myself forward and write more but I suppose I’m just afraid of disappointing them. I also know I’m supposed to write for myself or risk losing the voice that people like to read, but that also seems ridiculously difficult right now. I’m sure I’ll get over this at some point so for now I’ll just try to push through it and get something done. I’m also sure I’d still like to hear compliments and good reviews, so here comes that plug. If you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for? Trust me on this one, you’ll like it. Probably.

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