Nobody Listens to Techno

We have new upstairs neighbors again. Since we’ve lived here for three years and our apartments offer six month leases, we have seen a great number of them come and go. There were the people who dumped cigarette butts off their balcony that then landed on our patio, and who I also suspected of pouring their dirty cat box water off the side. Then there were the people who seemed to be abusing a bassoon every other night. We live in some small apartments, so I’m not sure how the other people were running down the hallway, but they were. Often.

Our current upstairs neighbors listen to techno and dubstep. A lot of techno and dubstep. At all hours of the day and night. I don’t mind a couple of heavy drops so much at 6 PM, or even at 8 PM. But when I wake up to have a wee at 4 AM and it’s still shaking the floor, I want to get a broom and thump on the ceiling. Of course I don’t, mainly because we don’t have a broom, but the first couple of nights I seriously considered leaving a strongly worded note on their door. There’s only so much wub wub I can take before I lose it completely.

Mister E says all this terrible music means that they’re either meth addicts or constantly on ecstasy, because no one listens to that much techno who isn’t a raver. And as we all know, ravers are into some serious uppers. I assume he must be correct since they all weigh 80 pounds and wear approximately three cubic inches of clothes to their parties. Also, when he was much younger he used to go to a lot of raves. I love him anyway, though.

I remember the Law and Order: SVU episode where they went to a rave. It was the American television show equivalent of fanservice. Benson wore a great outfit complete with a pacifier and I’m pretty sure they had Stabler wearing a mesh tank top. The music was a lot like what comes through our ceiling now and I just keep holding out hope that they’ll have a Mariska Hargitay lookalike up there at some point.

They must have gotten some complaints about the neverending dance party because their music has been stopping promptly at midnight for the last week or so, but they’re still listening at varying volumes throughout the day and I’m starting to be able to tune it out. Though it does sort of go to show you how embedded in our collective national consciousness Gangnam Style is, because I heard them playing it their first day here.

At least there’s something we can agree on.

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