Gym Peeves

Today I was at the gym, just like I was yesterday and the day before. I signed up for a gym membership before everything went sideways and just never cancelled it. I’m kind of glad I didn’t because now that I’m going, I feel a little better. It doesn’t hurt that they have a dish of Tootsie Rolls and two big massage chairs right by the door, either, but you have to have a carrot on the end of that stick.

Gym bunnies don’t really bother me – I don’t care much for weight slammers, though – but there is a type of person that makes me want to go over and shake them until their teeth rattle. They’re the ones who use the weight machine as a bench while they talk to someone who is doing their reps on another machine. The ones who, out of 40 empty treadmills, choose the one that’s right beside you and talk on their cell phone. In short, people who come to the gym to say they went to the gym, not to work out. Gym trolls.

I hate strength training. I mean, I really hate strength training. Usually the only way I’ll do it is if someone is there with me and pushing me. So you can imagine what an amazing thing it is that I’m even using the circuit training area in the first place, even if I’m not exactly enjoying it. I even made a workout mix called “Akihiko’s Training Mix” (gotta work that Persona obsession in there somehow).

Yesterday I was beginning the circuit after my warm-up walk and there were two people in front of me, a guy and a girl. They were both drinking Sprites and standing around talking, which bothered me immediately because the fenced-in area is supposed to be for circuit training only. The girl sat down on one of the machines, at which point the guy put a ridiculous amount of weight on it and proceeded to “help” her move it while their two Sprites balanced ON TOP OF ONE ANOTHER in the cupholder and they laughed. The icing on the cake, though, was that they stayed on the machines for about five minutes just playing around when you’re supposed to switch after 90 seconds (there’s even a helpful red/green light that tells you when to move so you don’t have to time yourself), and they did so right in front of the sign that says “Do not linger on machines, area for circuit training ONLY.”

Finally they left, and I went back to my workout. I came around to the second to last station, only to find someone there who had decided to start at Station 19 instead of Station 1. I blinked at her and she got up hurriedly, saying something about how the regular ab machine wasn’t any good. I just nodded and sat down to do my reps. Once the light went off, I got up and moved to the step block and she stopped me to say I didn’t have to get off, she could wait. I pointed at the light and said “I just finished my set, I’m through with that machine,” hoping she’d get the picture. She did not. When I went back to the treadmill for my cooldown walk, she was back on the machine. With my luck she’ll be there tomorrow, getting on the treadmill next to mine. The worst part of the gym is truly other people.

Side note: I bought a tub of protein powder today. I spilled a tiny bit on the floor and the cats lost their minds. You would have thought I dropped tuna. I wonder if you can put strawberries or something into the mixer with it. That’ll keep them away from it.


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